Mina Button's blog

kink and feminism and stuff…formerly known as Absinthe Cocktail.

Archive for November, 2012

Top 100 Sex Bloggers…

Posted in Uncategorized on November 25, 2012 by

I have made the Between My Sheets list of the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2012!  Thank you to Rori, who runs Between My Sheets, and to Lucas, who nominated me.

On the one hand, I’m really flattered.  There are some really, really amazing folks on that list who I admire and like a lot (like Mollena Williams and Maggie Mayhem) and it’s exciting to be included on any sort of list with them.  Also, despite that fact that I’ve been at this for about a year and a half, I still feel kind of…isolated sometimes.  I interact with lots of people through twitter and tumblr, but not a lot of people seem to want to interact with the blog.  I rarely get comments (and almost never get them from people I don’t know in meatspace), and I don’t really feel like I’m exactly a part of the sex blogger community or whatever.  So it’s really nice to be included on a list like this.  It makes me feel less like I’m just casting words into a void.

On the other hand, as Rori stresses a lot, these rankings are just her opinion.  So while I’m a little sad and surprised that a few of my favorite bloggers didn’t make the list this year, I don’t really feel like complaining about it is reasonable.  But…um…here are my favorite sex bloggers of pretty much any year:

The Pervocracy
Cliff is probably best known for her monthly Cosmocking posts, which are both good and hilarious.  But basically everything on this blog is amazing and important.  She posts a lot of really thoughtful, accessible writing about feminism, consent, and issues in the BDSM scene.  Just know that some of these posts may be triggering for some folks, especially the comments.

Quizzical Pussy
I have submitted several things over time to QP’s anonymous sex confessional.  Also, she is the brilliant mind behind BAST.  Also, she writes interesting and insightful things about sex and relationships with and for all sorts of people.  Again, some posts may be triggering–she has an ex who reminds me uncannily of Dr. Asshole, for one thing.

Epiphora
If you have a reason to read sex toy reviews, you should probably be reading Epiphora’s.  They are hilarious and snarky and honest and detailed.  I don’t necessarily agree with her about every toy (for example, I love the Crave Duet and hated the Siri), but her reviews are so clear, and she understands her body so well, that I feel like I’ve learned something new from every one.

Others I’d like to mention are Happy BDSM, which actually did make Rori’s top 100, but I think it’s such an awesome and exciting project that I wanted to link to it here anyway, and Cupcakes and Fisting, which is Garnet’s blog.  I am hoping maybe if more people follow that link they will write in it more often.

At GKE

Posted in Uncategorized on November 18, 2012 by

This is the last post I need to write in order to get caught up on everything that happened pre-Sandy/the week of Sandy.  Yay!

Garnet and I went to GKE.  I wasn’t sure what to expect, since I am sometimes not good at big events, but I knew lots of people there!  And it was good to see them!  And my blood sugar only really crashed once, and it was on the very first night.  It was a good event.

It was after Halloween, so all the Halloween stuff at the craft store was 80% off.  We poked around trying to find stuff that would work well with needles.  We ended up getting some wire picks with black sequins threaded on them and bats on the ends.  Also a big package of Halloween pipe cleaners and pom poms and stuff.

In the dungeon, we made a little space in the medical play area.  Garnet prepped by cutting off the bottoms of the bat picks and hot gluing the long wires with sequins and bats into the end caps of the needles.  We talked about how many I could take, and ended up agreeing on four on each side.  They hurt, but I tried to stay still.  When they put on the first needle, the wire with the bat waved over my shoulder and it made me smile.  I really like the decorative needle stuff they do to me, it makes me feel pretty and decorated.

I can’t remember if I was able to take all eight needles or not.  I think maybe we had to scale back to six?  But once they were in, and Garnet put tiny corks over their points, I actually kind of liked the slight pulling I could feel as I moved and the wires swayed and bounced.  A DM escorted us outside (needles weren’t supposed to leave the dungeon) so we could take pictures in the hall.  We went back in and I got to walk around a bit and show off before Garnet took the needles out.  I was starting to really like the way they felt when I was walking around.

The next day, Garnet had promised to fuck me.  Particularly, they had promised to fuck me with my new batcock while I was wearing the bat pasties I’d just bought.  We headed back to the dungeon.  The only piece of furniture that was not already occupied by people already playing was…well…an ottoman with huge tentacles sprouting off either side of it.  We were both delighted and claimed the space.

Garnet wanted to beat me before fucking me.  We had some new (and one recently re-claimed) toys to try out.  I took off my dress and bra and put on my pasties.  I bent over, leaning on the tentacle ottoman, and Garnet wrapped two tentacles over me, holding me in place.  They gave me a bandanna to drop as a safe signal, in case they couldn’t hear me over the music. 

It was a wonderful beating.  Garnet used their cane and the rose crop and an acrylic paddle with a “<3" cut out of it, as well as a new toy we'd bought, which was sort of like  a futuristic rug beater made of cables.  But apart from that, it was just a really good beating.  It felt good, we were on the same page.  They pushed me towards they edge and we balanced on it together without quite going over and having things become too much.  And we laughed and giggled and had fun together.  We paused at one point and I said I was just about done.  Garnet agreed that they wanted to move on, too.  They gave me a few more smacks just for good measure and I waved the bandanna.  "I surrender!" I said, laughing.

They went and got barriers and stuff so we could have sex.  There was a big sign on the tentacle chair that said not to fuck on it without putting down chucks and using a receptive (or female) condom.  I’d recently read that some receptive condoms are lubricated with silicone lube, and we were both paranoid about ruining the batcock, so we put a traditional condom on the cock as well.  I laid back down and Garnet put a vibrator on my chest so it’d be in easy reach, then they wrapped the tentacles back around me.  One almost covered my face, so I could sort off see past it sometimes and sort of not at others.

Garnet pushed inside me and it felt super yummy.  The cock was long and smooth and everything was really hot…but there were…distractions.  The music in the dungeon was truly ridiculous.  Like, almost all of it.  But right after we started fucking, “Total Eclipse of the Heart” started playing.  And Garnet started singing along, and we were both laughing.  Still, things felt really good.  Then our friend Tails and some other people came in (we were right near the door), and I couldn’t help but notice them.  ”Why are you looking over there?”  Garnet asked, “Do you want them to notice you?  Are you becoming an exhibitionist?”  Also, as they fucked me harder, my tits bounced and they laughed and pointed out my bat pasties were bouncing.  It was all really hot and fun and funny.

However, the ottoman was not quite the right height for Garnet to stand at the foot of it and fuck me without bending uncomfortably.  They urged me to try to hurry up and come, so I grabbed the vibe and tried to focus on how delicious their cock felt inside me.  I got close quickly, with them giving verbal encouragement.  I moved my hips trying to hold them inside me, feeling the orgasm building then spilling over.  I gasped out that I was coming, and as I did Garnet said “Oh fuck, I can feel you squeezing my cock, that’s so hot!” which, if anything made me come harder.  Then I kind of just collapsed.

It was really good play, and really good sex.  I like how good we can be together.

More Pain Tolerance News

Posted in Uncategorized on November 18, 2012 by

We went to party, and I was nervous because I didn’t think I’d know anyone there (which I was wrong about), and I realized shortly after we arrived that part of the reason I felt pouty and sulky and insecure was that I had PMS.  I mentioned in the post where I last wrote about my possible increased pain tolerance that I expected I would not be able to take as much when my hormones were doing different things…well, Garnet and I tested that theory.

A lot of the furniture had very quickly filled up with playing couples (and other configurations of people in varying numbers), so Garnet bent me over on a large, metal rolling ladder.  Since it was fairly loud, we worked out a safe signal.  ”Here,” Garnet said, handing me a small stuffed octopus, “to safeword, drop or throw this octopus.”  I took my shirt off and bent over.

It was a very thorough beating.  They used a bunch of implements–a cane, their crop, a new crop with a leather rose on the end of it that felt kind of like being punched with a tiny fist.  They beat my upper back and my ass and thighs, and it hurt.  It didn’t take long before I was crying, which was actually a pretty great release.  It hurt, but I held onto the octopus and took it.

I was a crying, sobbing mess, with my eye makeup running all over my face.  There was one final blow that was just enough.  I was done.  I tossed the octopus.  Garnet petted me and I hugged the octopus for comfort.  I think I maybe only apologized for crying once.  I think apologizing for crying is part of the reason beatings like this can be so satisfying–it’s okay to feel whatever is going on.  Feeling is the whole point.  Later, Garnet told me that they can usually tell when I need to cry.

We walked around a bit more, taking a break.  Frustratingly, I continued to feel intermittently sulky for no reason apart from hormones.  Fucking hormones.

When I’d had a nice break, and time to calm down and feel as normal as possible again, we found a spot to do needles.  It was only a few days before Halloween, and Garnet wanted to decorate me.  They pulled out a bag of little plastic skeleton hands, and slid my bra straps down over my shoulders a bit.  They slipped the needles into me, one by one (there was a brief pause after the first one while Garnet figured out that the needles were too small to thread the fishing line actually through them, so they ended up just tying the skeleton hands to the needles) and tied a little plastic hand to each one.  It hurt, of course.  I don’t know why I keep expecting needles to not hurt some day.  But people watched, which was cool, and when Garnet was done I had little hands dangling from my breasts and shoulders.

Garnet led me around to show them off.  I always love being shown off by them.  And then they took the needles out and cleaned me up.

Later that night, we realized I once again had dark purple bruises on my ass from the beating.  I really do think I can take way more pain than I used to be able to…

Posted in Uncategorized on November 11, 2012 by

So in my most recent therapy session, I said what I wanted to be.  I forget exactly how I phrased it, but it was something along the lines of “I just want to be well put together and feel like my life is manageable and under control.”

Any my therapist said that sounded like a good goal, and then she said “If that’s a ten, on a one-to-ten scale, where do you feel like you are now?”

“A two.” I said, feeling wretched about it, but like I was being honest.

“Huh…from two to ten.  That’s a big jump.  What would you need to do to get to the next level?  What would a three look like?”

I thought about it really hard, and I tried to come up with an answer, but all I felt was panicked and awful and overwhelmed.  I opened my mouth to say something, but I had no idea what I was going to say.  I stopped and thought about it more, and I tried to answer again, but I still just felt panicky.

Finally, after what felt like a really long time, I said the only thing that felt right in my head.  ”A three is unacceptable.”

This seems to be one of my major problems in every aspect of my life.

Drunk Sex

Posted in Uncategorized on November 11, 2012 by

I just wish I could remember it better.

We came home from the bar.  I desperately had to pee, and gigglingly confessed (embarrassed and worried how they’d respond, but also finally able to talk about it with lots of vodka lowering my inhibitions) that I thought it would be incredibly hot if Garnet held me by the hair and made me squat in front of them.  We pushed into the bathroom and they pulled my hair and smacked my face while I pissed.  It was hot, but I feel like that we maybe need to try it while sober to get the full humiliation aspect.

After that, once we fell on the bed, hands and mouths were just everywhere, we kissed and groped and laughed.  I was wearing a complicated blouse and layers of skirts, but somehow, it seemed very quickly, I was in just my underwear and Garnet was deciding what they wanted.

More clothes came off.  I put on a glove.  My fingers slipped inside them and I found their bits with my mouth and tongue, kissing, licking, sucking.  I think they grabbed my hair and held me against them.  I ran my tongue over them, wanting to taste and feel as much as I could.  They were slick and slippery and delicious in  my mouth.

Somehow, I think they pulled me up but I may have just come up for air, we were suddenly face to face.  We kissed, slipping tongues back and forth, and I kept working my fingers inside them, pushing against that spot, with my thumb slipping over the outside.  I was incredibly turned on, feeling their skin against mine, their mouth on mine, the feel of that magic place inside them under my fingers.  I went back to using my mouth on their bits, but after a few seconds they pushed me away and used the Hitachi, my fingers still inside them, until they came (it seemed they came very quickly), squeezing my fingers tight.

I can’t remember how I ended up under them.  I feel like time passed, but it couldn’t have been very long and I was lying on my back with Garnet pressing a vibrator between my legs, over my undies.  I wriggled under them, and…I wish I could remember what they said.  I feel like if I could remember the words they whispered in my ear I would know some sort of incredibly important secret.  I know they told me I was their girl, that I belonged to them, but it was more complicated than that, there was so much more.  They said delicious, evil, sweet, scary things, things that seemed like they held the most important parts of our dynamic inside them.

I confessed that I was so drunk I was a little numb, and maybe not going to be able to come for them, but they picked up the Hitachi and kept talking, and with the Hitachi and their words they coaxed the orgasm out of me and I came hard.

I hope I at least managed to be quiet.

Garnet’s Pleasure

Posted in Uncategorized on November 10, 2012 by

We watched a movie, one of my favorite movies, and we were snuggling when it was done.  ”I think I want to fuck you,” Garnet said, as if they were considering whether or not it was worth the effort.

Very soon after, I had my nightgown hiked up around my waist and my underwear gone.  They picked up the rainbow cock and began to work it inside me.  I feel like they used lube…they must’ve used lube…but I was still sore from being fucked with the Drac the night before, so even that smooth and relatively small cock felt like a lot to take.  And they fucked me with it hard, working over my g-spot and pushing into me hard and fast and over and over.

I didn’t really understand at first.  I wriggled my hips and made happy noises and whimpered when they occasionally paused to lightly (or not so lightly) smack my bits.  They grabbed the nearest vibrator and held it against me, warning me to tell them when I got close to coming.  I happily gave in to the sensation, getting closer.  Garnet pulled the vibe away.  ”This isn’t for you,” they said.  Then I understood that this was not our usual kind of sex, where they tease me but are nice to me and make me come.  This was entirely for their amusement.

They clamped a hairpin onto my clit, making me wriggle, and flicked it and tapped it and teased it’s almost-uncomfortably-sensitive exposed parts.  They made me edge and edge and edge, giving me vibration until I was almost overloaded then taking it away.  And the whole time, they didn’t let up fucking me, pushing the cock into my sore, swollen, over-aroused cunt.

I have to confess, even though it wasn’t for me, and even though the smacks and pinches were hard to take, I kind of loved it.  I loved pretty much all of it.  Being opened and fucked and played with, with no consideration for my pleasure or comfort.  It was impossibly, unbearably hot.

I ended up with the dick stuck in me up to the base, with Garnet teasing around the outside of my ass with the very tip of the vibrator.  I wriggled under their attentions, unsure whether it was wonderful or excruciating.  They abruptly turned off the vibe and tossed it aside, as if they were bored and ready to move on to an entirely new activity.  ”We can’t use that on any other body part now, so I guess we’re done,” they said.  I whimpered at the thought of not being allowed o come.  Garnet patted the base of the dildo still buried in my cunt.  ”Hold onto that for me,” they said.

“For how long?” I squeaked.

Garnet answered that I could either hold it all night, or beg for an orgasm then and get it taken out when I was done.

I tried to make my choice logically…I wanted to keep it in, I wanted to sleep with it sticking into me, all firm and just so…clearly, unforgettably, obviously there, holding me open all night because Garnet had ordered it.  But I was tired and sore and…”This won’t be the last time we play this game,” Garnet said, “especially if you like it.  You can choose the orgasm this time.”

But I didn’t.  I made it through the whole night (though it slipped around a little a few times), and the next morning I got permission to take it out.  It didn’t exactly feel good.  I was sore and while it is not a huge toy, it was definitely the largest thing I’ve ever had inside me for such a long time.  But I was just so happy to be able to do it for them.

I’m really excited to try it again.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 9, 2012 by

Friday night.  I really, really wanted to be fucked.

I, for once, knew exactly what I wanted.  Strap-on sex, from behind, with the Drac.  Of course, it took a little bit of Garnet asking and my looking down and awkwardly say “…um…if you want to,” a bunch.  But Garnet was generous and agreed that all of it sounded fine to them.  Their only concern was that the Drac has…well…big balls.  Big enough that they might be uncomfortable in the harness.  But I asked if we could maybe just try it, and switch to them fucking me by hand if it was uncomfortable.  They agreed.

I had remembered, when I made these requests, that the Drac is on the larger side.  It’s fairly thick.  What I hadn’t really thought much about was the texture.

Oh, right.  It’s got wings and stuff.  It is, in fact, pretty much the only textured toy I ever use.  And, what with not being allowed to masturbate at all lately, it’s been a while since I’ve used it.

I had forgotten what that sort of texture feels like.  Until Garnet pushed it inside me and I could feel every single centimeter of it sliding into me, every ridge that Garnet was pushing into my cunt.  And that’s with a fair amount of lube.  Don’t get me wrong, it felt good.  It felt, in fact, amazing, but it also felt very intense.

After the first few thrusts, I completely lost all ability to stay in the same rhythm as Garnet.  I pushed back, happily bouncing on their cock.  They laughed.  ”Your such a slut you fuck yourself!”  I apologized for messing up their rhythm, and they reassured me it was okay.  It just felt so good.  So good.  To be writhing under them, wanting so badly to be filled up by their cock, being so aware of every single movement inside me because of the ridges sliding in and out.

And of course, Garnet understood.  As I wound down fucking myself, pushing myself on their cock, they took over and fucked me thoroughly.  At some point they handed me a vibrator.  With vibration on my clit and their working their cock into me over and over I felt like I got lost in the sensation, and very quickly I told them I was getting close.  ”Come for me,” they growled, calling me by the special pet name that only they use for me.  ”Come for me.”  It only took a few seconds for me to obey.

I essentially collapsed as soon as I came.  My bits felt deliciously sore and well-used.  We curled up together, and I very quickly fell asleep.

A New Trick

Posted in Uncategorized on November 6, 2012 by

Oh my God.  So many things have happened.  Another International Fisting Day has come and gone.  Sadly, I was unable to be fisted during it, but I did get quoted on Autostraddle, which I feel like gives me way more lesbian cred than I previously had.  And then I took a week long vacation to spend time with Garnet, and there was a freakin’ hurricane…so now that I’m back, I have lots and lots of blogging to catch up on.  So while I try not to stress too much about the election, I will write.

The power was out, and I had asked if we could have sex that night.  Of course, being a hormonal fuck-up, I then did something stupid and was certain I’d lost any chance of even making out that night.  We talked through it, though, and Garnet reassured me that I was not in that much trouble, and we could still fool around.  ”I’m feeling uncreative,” they said, “but I guess I could let you jerk off.”

They found me the nearest (rechargeable) vibrator.  No Hitachi while the power was out.  And they gave it to me and they petted me and played with my tits.  Then, as I began to use the vibe, started getting into things, they lit a cigarette.

We’d been talking about doing a smoking scene for ages, but we’d never gotten the chance to do it before.  We’d talked about them ashing in my mouth, an idea that I found thrilling and scary and the tiniest bit icky and very, very, very arousing all at once.  I honestly thought that tonight they just wanted to smoke while I jerked off.

They lit the delicious-smelling clove cigarette and blew the smoke in my face and I edged around the same time.  I know smoking isn’t supposed to be sexy, blah blah health whatever, but they looked incredibly hot as they blew the smoke at me.  They didn’t let me come yet.  They reached over and found the two little suction toys I’d brought and squeezed them and stuck one to each of my nipples.  The suction and pressure felt good and also hurt a little.  They brought the cigarette towards me and told me to open my mouth.  I was confused and flustered and did kind of the wrong thing with my tongue at first, but they gently corrected me and then tapped the clove against my teeth.  It didn’t even really taste bad, but again I was flustered and confused until they prompted me to swallow.

Garnet made me edge several more times.  It felt like a lot of times, especially when they slid their finger inside me and pressed against my g-spot until I had to move the vibrator to keep from coming.  They moved the nipple suckers from my breasts to my thighs, leaving my nipples swollen and sore, leaving little ring-shaped marks on my thighs.  They changed the patterns on the vibrator to tease me more.  They blew smoke at me so I could smell and taste it.

Finally, they gave me permission to come.  They even let me bite their forearm, so I wouldn’t make too much noise…and, I hope, because biting feels good.  I wriggled against them and worked the vibe back and forth over my clit and finally came, breathing hard while I sank my teeth into their delicious skin.  ”Good girl,” they murmured while they petted my hair and I wriggled and shook.

They ashed in my mouth again and I swallowed like a good girl.  They let me have a sip of water to rinse the ashes from my mouth.

It was all really great, and I love that we finally got to do what we’ve been talking about for so long.  I feel like I’ve learned a new trick, and I keep imagining lighting their cigarette and sitting at their feet, waiting to open my mouth so they can make use of me.

I feel very accomplished.