Mina Button's blog

kink and feminism and stuff…formerly known as Absinthe Cocktail.

30 Days of Kink – Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?

When Roderick first asked me “Hey can I hold you down sometime?” I had no idea how much it would change things for me.  There were the obvious ways, where I suddenly had all this language to actually describe things I’d always felt.  Suddenly I could actually articulate what I wanted, what I found sexy.  It was so completely, wonderfully different from the vague wafflings I’d tried to use to explain things to other partners.

That was all fairly basic.

What I didn’t expect was that it would give me friends.  Pretty much my entire social circle here in New York City is made up of people I met through the kink scene.  It was entirely delightful, meeting all these great new people with which I had all this stuff (not just BDSM, but lots of things) in common and getting to know them and doing silly things with them.

Of course, I also met Garnet through the scene, and I think it’s pretty apparent how well that’s going. (i.e. Really, incredibly, amazingly, awesomely well.)

Also, of course, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have my amazing job if not for being involved in BDSM.  Kinky issues got me interested in feminist issues and sex-positive issues and now instead of aimlessly drifting from one annoying retail job to another, I’ve spent two years working for an amazing company that I love and believe in.

I feel like for a lot of people, your mid-twenties is when you go through all sorts of exciting and life-changing stuff.  You move around, you try different jobs and relationships, you get more settled.  For me, kink has been the catalyst that made a lot of those things happen.

The 30 Days of Kink meme can be found here.

Leave a Reply