Mina Button's blog

kink and feminism and stuff…formerly known as Absinthe Cocktail.

Search term roundup!

I am always kind of disappointed by my search terms.  Unlike sites like, say, the amazing Pussy Goes Grr, where the periodic search term listings always, always include people trying to find nude pictures of various random actresses, or the search terms posts on the Pervocracy, which included gems like “paradox fetish,” “24 hour forced vibrator torture,” and “sexy earring put on vagina,” I don’t get that many amusing search terms.  In fact, most people who find my blog by searching were, in fact, searching for “fisting” or “fisting blog.”  In some places, this would be bizarre and amusing.  But since I actually write a blog that is often about fisting, it’s kind of anticlimactic.  And now I’m making it happen more by saying “fisting” a whole bunch.

But I do still get some amusing, and horrifying, and sometimes just plain sad search terms that show up in my analytics.  Probably the second most popular one, after “fisting,” is “absinthe cocktail.”  While I’d like to delude myself into thinking that my blog really is so popular that tons of people are searching for it by name, I’m pretty sure those folks are just looking for a drink recipe.  This kind of makes me feel like an asshole, for naming my blog something that has next-to-nothing to do with the actual content.  So here, for those searchers who probably paged through, like, ten pages of Google results with actual drink recipes on the to get here, is how one makes an absinthe cocktail:

1/2 Absinthe (1 1/2 oz Absinthe Verte de Fougerolles)
1/2 Water (1 1/2 oz Water)
1 dash Syrup (Rich Simple Syrup)
1 dash Angostura Bitters

Shake well and strain into a cocktail glass (source)
I also found this list of the Top 5 Absinthe Cocktails on Epicurious.  Many of them look delicious.
I feel really kind of bad for the person who found this blog by searching “my staples are pulling and hurt,” because I feel like the last thing I would want to find in that situation is a blog post about using medical staples for recreational purposes.  
I am worried by the search for “vibrator cake mix,” because my blog post about that was one big overextended metaphor, and I worry that someone googling “vibrator cake mix” is possibly going to get a very bad yeast infection soon.  Please do not mix literal vibrators with literal cake mix.
I was surprised and delighted by the phrase “vampires sucking cock,” especially since it showed up right around the time I was having a very hot conversation with Garnet about the logistics of going down on someone when you have fangs.  
“can you have a orgasm when on absinthe”?  Well, being really drunk does desensitize some people.  Including me.  So it probably depends on the amount of absinthe.
I’m also kind of sad that the person who searched “is fisting a real thing?” didn’t stick around to read more.  I suspect that the people who searched “male maid training” were probably disappointed, and I hope the person who searched “g-spot and feeling of urination” learned some things about female ejaculation somewhere in their search.  And it makes me really happy that a handful of people searched “orgasm revolution.”
At least all of this is better than my old blog, which people seemed to mostly find by searching for David Boreanaz.

6 Responses to “Search term roundup!”

  1.   Top to Bottom Says:

    I get such a kick out of reading what keywords brought people to my page. Sadly, I haven't had any real good ones lately. A lot of people just want to know if Anderson Cooper is a top or bottom. Someone did recently search for "[my full name] uncut" the other day. That was pretty flattering. LOL.

  2.   with love, Lily Says:

    "I feel really kind of bad for the person who found this blog by searching "my staples are pulling and hurt," because I feel like the last thing I would want to find in that situation is a blog post about using medical staples for recreational purposes."I lol'd. Partly because it sounds like the kind of worrying/overthinking that I would do, and partly because you're hilarious.

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